@Begin
@Participants:	JPN008
@Age:	20
@Sex:	F
@YearInSchool:	U1
@Major:	?
@StudyHistory:	7
@OtherLanguage:	German=0.6;other=0.6
@Qualification:	STEP=2(2001);none=;none=
@Abroad:	none=;none=
@Reading:	5
@Writing:	2
@Listening:	2
@Speaking:	1
@JapaneseEssay:	3
@EnglishEssay:	2
@Difficulty:	3
@Topic:	school education
@TWE:	3;3;3
@Comments:	
@Coder:	2005-12-21 DataInputBy SAKAUE Tatsuya;
@Version:	2.0
*JPN008:	What is important for education?
%NTV:	
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN008:	In these days, I see the problem of school education discussed on TV and some magazines.
%NTV:	Lately, I see the problem of school education being discussed on TV and in some magazines.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	In fact, present school education is different from the one when I was a student.
%NTV:	In fact, current school education is different from when I was a student.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	In present, we hear "YUTORI education".
%NTV:	Nowadays, we hear about "yutori education".
%COM:	Some more explanation of "yutori education" is needed here. English speakers will not know what you are referring to.
*JPN008:	What is the word "YUTORI" really means?
%NTV:	What does this term really mean?
%COM:	
*JPN008:	What is important for students in society today?
%NTV:	OK
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I consider about it in following sentences.
%NTV:	I will discuss this in this essay.
%COM:	I recommend cutting this sentence--it's obvious that this is the topic.
%par:
*JPN008:	I think it is important for students in elemental school to study not only academic subjects  but also humanity.
%NTV:	I think it is important for students in elementary school to study not only academic subjects, but also humanity.
%COM:	"Humanity" seems like an unusual word choice. How about "human interaction"?
*JPN008:	In these days, many students in elemental school study after school in sub-schools till late at night.
%NTV:	Nowadays, many students in elementary school study after school in cram schools until late at night.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	They eat dinner alone or with friends without their parents.
%NTV:	They eat dinner alone or with friends, but without their parents.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	When I was a student, I and friends plays till the sun set and ate dinner at my house with parents talking about things I studied at school and about my friends.
%NTV:	When I was a student, I played with my friends until the sun set, went home, and ate dinner with my parents while talking about things I had studied at school and about my friends.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I also studied various things in playing with friends and talking with parents.
%NTV:	I learned various things in playing with my friends and talking with my parents.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I'm afraid that many students today can study academic subject but can't study humanity in everyday life.
%NTV:	I am afraid that although many students today can study academic subjects, they cannot study humanity in everyday life.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I don't think "YUTORI education" really gives students extra time for studying something which is important for humans.
%NTV:	I do not think that "yutori education" really gives students extra time for studying something that is important for humans.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN008:	I think the most important thing in thinking about education is to focus on children.
%NTV:	OK
%COM:	
*JPN008:	Children are brought up among their family and society and school.
%NTV:	Children are brought up by their family, and society, and school.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	We are tend to consider that children can't study without our help.
%NTV:	We tend to believe that children cannot study without our help.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	But children can consider about something by themselves for example friendship or love.
%NTV:	However, they can consider such concepts as friendship or love by themselves.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	And there are many things can be studied only outside of school or sub-school.
%NTV:	Many things can be studied only outside of school or cram school.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I think it is important for students to study something which is not academic subject in society today and everyday life.
%NTV:	I think that students need to study something that is not an academic subject; they can do this not in school, but in society and everyday life.
%COM:	
*JPN008:	I think "YUTORI education" should help students and parents to study some important things in society and family.
%NTV:	I think "yutori education" should help students and parents to study some important things in society and family.
%COM:	
@End
